Lisa The Painful RPG: Why is everyone so mean?

lisa

I guess I’d be pretty angry and rude too if all the females in existence disappeared off the face of the earth.

This is the premise of Lisa: The Painful RPG. My boyfriend and I were looking for another game to play after finishing Undertale. But whew— if we ever thought Undertale was brutal, it was nothing compared to Lisa.

By the way, Lisa: The Painful RPG is followed by Lisa The Joyful, and preceded by Lisa: The First. You’ll unlock The Joyful after finishing The Painful for free. Lisa: The First can be downloaded for free here.

In Lisa, you play as Brad, a father a the last girl on earth: Buddy. You had found Buddy abandoned as a baby, and you took her in to raise as your own. You kept her a secret, letting her roam in her room underground and only letting her out if she’s wearing a mask. It’s a cruel world out there, especially when all that’s left are greedy and slimy men. Seriously, it seems like all the men you encounter throughout the game are basically douches.

lisa men

Of course, not all is as smooth sailing as you— a protective father who had a not-so good childhood and is hoping to compensate by raising this young girl— might want it to be. Buddy is kidnapped. And with all the rapists, sickos, and greedy dudes out in the post-apocalyptic world you now live in, you must hurry on your quest to get her back safe and sound.

lisa combos

One of the coolest (and most annoying) things in this game is the permanence of your choices. As Brad, you can combo your attacks by using WASD at a certain time during fights. WASD corresponds to a left or right arm swings, and some other attacks. Quite early on in the game, you get to make decisions. One of these include: Do you want to save your party (various NPCs who join your team to help you fight), or lose an arm?

We chose to lose an arm. And that ended up changing the way our game was to be played from then on. Some combos were lost, some were changed. And we had to pedal one-armed on our in-game bicycle.

lisa gross

As you progress through the game, you learn things from your past. You’re no angel, despite your noble quest. I was always on the edge of my seat, wishing the story progressed faster so I could figure out why I’m hated and how I became the Brad I am today. Mostly because I didn’t get why some folks hated me so much and I wanted to feel like I deserved the hate rather than my constant “What did I do wrong??? I seem like a good guy?”

queen bee

Great game, and lots of interesting characters. A little unsatisfied with the ending and it’s a little depressing— but it has its funny and what the heck moments. I’ve seen this game on sale for about $2 before, so if you see it that low again, I suggest you grab it!

PS: Also, the developer Austin Jorgensen is a cool dude who can sword dance????

 

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